From brollies, wellies and grey skies to raging wildfires? I don't think so...

The Alice in Wonderland Column

COMMENT By Alice Jones

AS the March/April temperatures hit a sweltering 16 degrees and we enjoy clear blue skies for the first time in months, it seems we can’t yet relax in the garden with a G&T as the new fearmongering sweeps the UK… wildfires.

WHAT? Wait, please hold your hoses and calm your heart rates because a plague of locusts would be more viable at this point.

As desperate weather presenters report on location, grasping handfuls of sparse dry grass in an attempt to persuade us the land is ‘tinder dry’, we’re led to believe that a scattering of sunny days and an entirely average springtime temperature is leading to the UK going up in flames? Adding to the oddities of this phenomenon is the fact that these terrifying wildfires appear to spark up through the night? Curiouser and curiouser indeed.

As this latest ‘create the fear, encourage a response’ scenario unfolds, it’s been nothing but comedy on social media as all bar the very few knock it right into the park. I suspect the numpty who bore fruit to this latest wheeze may not pass their three-month probation because it’s done nothing other than wake more people up… I hope!

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